Can't sleep

I can feel my heart thumping in my ears and my throat is tightening up as if to hold back a fit of meaningless sobs. My eyes ache, brimming with tears, but nothing comes out. I feel like screaming, so I do. I scream loud and long, my face buried in my pillow to keep my neighbors from calling the police--given the neighborhood and all they really would!-- and I feel terribly empty after doing so.

 My heart is still beating an unsettling beat in my rib cage, and I try to quiet it by curling up like a cat, pressing a pillow against my chest and I breath deeply. Why isn't the sleeping pill working? Nothing works, these days. 

I want to go home. I miss Mom and Dad. I miss feeling warm. I'm tired of trying to numb pain and conceal hurt. Heal me! 

So many things tick me off these days. 

Let me sleep!